Saturday, May 23, 2009

So the thing about communal bathrooms

is that you get really close and personal to the bodily whatevers of everybody else.

Case in point: the wiry lone pubic hair found on the toilet seat this evening.  I probably got wayyy too close when I noticed that there were little hairs actually growing on the examined strand itself, but in any case, that alone was disturbing enough to warrant the raid of the toilet paper supply to sufficiently cover the entire surface of the seat.

Speaking of other dirty things relating to the body, I am so opposed to dirty fingernails.  Which is why I was thoroughly surprised to find mine so dirty on my way home.  Then I remembered I was coming home from Shake Shack, and then decided that dirty fingernails were only acceptable when manically devouring the most succulent burgers known to man.

I swear, every time I eat Shake Shack, it's literally making sweet and slow love to a burger in Madison Square Park.

Speaking of parks: the newly renovated Washington Square Park is now open for the summer!  Great timing, too, because the fountain is crucial for getting through July; I swear, you can hardly breathe.

Sorry to cut today short, kiddies, but I've got a hot date waiting.  That's right---I, [SPOOJ], have for the very first time a TV WITH CABLE (translate: I get more than four channels, biotch!) allll to herself!  WHICH means I'll be pretty occupied for the next few weeks.  The next couple of nights will be long, hard (it's a tough decision when you've got 80+ channels to choose from!), but oh, will it be sweet.  At the moment, I've settled on that old people IMing movie with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.

Can't wait to wake up to Al Roker and fall asleep to David Letterman. (And soon, Conan!)  The only relationship I'm willing to sacrifice any time in right now (sadly, but gladly) is with my new HDTV.

And this is why I'm single.

SPOOJ.

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