So I guess the first step of the process would be denial.

I am not lazy whatsoever.

How can I be when there is nothing pressing to be done??

My life (in retrospect of these past three days) has been a series comprised of unfulfilled eBay bids and bad reality television.  I bet both of these are the two newest additions to the 21st century revision of the cardinal sins.

I need a fucking hobby.

Might (finally) check out MoSEX during the next couple of days.  Maybe I'll even wade through the $16 million newly-renovated-though-exactly-the-same fountain in Washington Square Park with the remainder of my friends who are not traveling or toiling under the devil's reincarnate in the form of their [insert major fashion house] boss.  Orrrrrr I could just spend this time shut away from the world like the bitter, anti-social hermit that I (secretly) am.

I really hope I win that corset on eBay.

Is it sad that I'm scheduling my week around the MTV Movie Awards?  I've already turned down two potential rendez-vous that evening in favour of the visual porn that is Andy Samberg's nose.

It is a rightful entity on its own.

I've only been a week and a half into summer holiday and this is the story of my life.

SPOOJ.

(A long overdue list!)

Five Random Things in my Peripheral Vision:

1. My ceramic mug with nude women in suggestive poses carved in relief. (The subline in the store's display said, "Can you handle her?" and I felt compelled to take them on their challenge.)

2. That epic scene where Adam Sandler serenades to Drew Barrymore at the end of The Wedding Singer. (Enter: warm and fuzzy feelings.)

3. A tube of Colgate awkwardly sticking out of a box of bran cereal. (I have no idea either.)

4. An old carton of Chinese take-out I have yet to toss. (Maybeeee tomorrow.  Maybe.)

5. All these are lies as what is (obviously) in my peripheral vision is only the reflective glare of my MacBook screen.

So I thought "emery" was "enamel" for the longest time.

In any case, take this as a cautionary tale not to place its board form in close quarters with anything valuable.  It WILL fuck it up.

Is it just me, or did I miss the entire point of Hannibal Rising?  I'm left in love, feeling sorry, and oh so hot and bothered for Hannibal.

Or that could just be for Gaspard Ulliel.

Cleaning has not happened.  Yet.  The final roommate has left the building, and I'm left with a nice pile of shit to deal with.

Like the used and abused tube of Vagisil waiting patiently for proper disposal on the bathroom floor.

(LOVELY.)

At least it and I haven't made physical contact.  Yet. (Trying to avoid the inevitable here.)  Unlike the time I UNKNOWINGLY AND ACCIDENTALLY touched her boyfriend's semen.  But I guess I was asking for it when I snuck a swap of her body wash.

(FAAANTASTIC.)

If I had washed myself out with that, could we have been talking "immaculate conception" here??

THAT is the fifteen thousand dollar question of the day.

Five Things I'm Currently Coveting:

1. A brownstone residence on Perry

2. Lemonade (Hell, an entire stand!  With child labour included.)

3. A boytoy who will: (a) open jars, (b) carry heavy groceries (and yes, Whole Foods does count as a shopping spree), (c) be man enough to pick up that Vagisil!

4. A Netflix account

5. ************* (God willing!)

Hmmm...on hindsight, I realize I am a woman of humble needs.

Very humble, indeed.

SPOOJ.

P.S. Why am I just discovering James Shigeta NOW????

Can I say, "dashing?"  More Asian-American male leads?  Yes, please!